The Business Millennials Podcast

Running a Business With Kids At Home

• Ashley Dreager & Safa Harris • Season 1 • Episode 15

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In this episode of the Business Millennials Podcast, hosts Safa Harris and Ashley Dreager, founders of Scale and Thrive Co, dive into the realities of balancing business growth with the challenges of parenting. They discuss the mental load of managing a business and household, handling unexpected interruptions, and share personal anecdotes about their own experiences. The conversation covers the importance of personal development, proactive planning, and the struggle of maintaining both professional and home life. They encourage listeners to share their own stories and tips for managing groceries, budgeting, and time. Tune in for raw and relatable insights on thriving amidst the chaos of entrepreneurship and parenthood.

Key Takeaways:

  1. Working from home with kids presents unique challenges, such as managing noise levels during important tasks like podcast recordings and finding uninterrupted time to focus on work.
  2. The mental load of parenting, combined with running a business, can be overwhelming and lead to feelings of exhaustion and the need for support from partners or family members.
  3. Creating systems and lists for household tasks can help alleviate some of the mental load, but implementing and maintaining these systems requires time and effort that may be in short supply.
  4. Rising grocery costs and shrinking package sizes (shrinkflation) have made meal planning and budgeting more difficult, leading to the need for creative solutions and careful planning.
  5. Finding time for self-care and personal development is crucial for maintaining a healthy mindset, but can be challenging when juggling the demands of work and family life.

Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction to the Business Millennials Podcast
00:58 Real-Life Challenges of Working from Home
04:55 Balancing Business and Family Life
08:12 The Mental Load of Parenting and Running a Business
11:08 Grocery Shopping and Meal Planning Struggles
17:27 Finding Time for Yourself Amidst Chaos
25:51 Conclusion and Call for Listener Feedback

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Welcome to the business millennials podcast. This show brings you strategic insights through raw and unfiltered real world advice to accelerate your business growth for longterm success. I'm Safa Harris, and I'm Ashley Drager. We're the founders of scale and thrive co a full service marketing and business development firm, helping visionary companies scale sustainably. Expect us to have the uncomfortable conversations that no one else is having. We'll break down what it really takes to grow and scale your business beyond six Today we're going to be going through the different types of business leaders we've We're going to be talking about five, six, seven, or even eight figures, as well as inspiring interviews with diverse leaders across marketing, product development, sales, and more. Be a fly on the wall as we conduct strategy sessions with business owners experiencing issues such as plateaued income, burnout, and generally dropping the ball, giving you the tools and resources to break through your own roadblocks, but also personal development methods to grow you as a balanced, conscious leader amidst business growth. Let's jump into this week's episode.

Ashley Dreager:

So yesterday, uh, when I was editing that last podcast and I could hear my kids screaming in the background and I'm just like. Why is this happening right now? I told Justin, I said, I'm doing a podcast recording in the morning. So do what you need to do to be in the mental space to keep them quiet. Before we leave the house. Cause he's not a morning person. Like he needs like a solid hour of quiet to just like,

Safa Harris:

me.

Ashley Dreager:

gather himself, which like I get, but, um, I'm like, so if, if you need to set an alarm to wake up early before the kids to be able to do this, I'm giving you a heads up now.

Safa Harris:

I feel like there was only one other episode where we had kids screaming in the background, but I was like, whatever.

Ashley Dreager:

I mean, it's like, it's super muffled. So I don't know how well it comes through. Like if you're wearing AirPods versus like, like this full get up, but

Safa Harris:

I don't know. Because I heard it while we were doing the recording. I was like, we are. And

Ashley Dreager:

this is what it's like working at home with kids.

Safa Harris:

but part of me was like, I don't know if Ashley doesn't hear it or we've like just gotten so used to just like tuning it out. We're just like, whatever.

Ashley Dreager:

I, no, I could totally hear it every time, but half the time I'm like, is it gonna come through here? Because there's a lot of times like that we are talking and you're like, no, I don't hear anything. And I'm like, dude, they're super loud. like, I don't know how you don't hear this

Safa Harris:

The other day, so we have. a playroom, right? So, Wally and Zed, like, Wally's old enough that, like, I can leave him and Zed together in, like, a room for a short amount of time by themselves and things will be okay. so I had, the other day, gone downstairs to be like, I'm just gonna fix dinner real quick. in peace. So I like sneaked out of the and went downstairs and it was like five minutes and I hear and the way our house is so like the playroom is right above the stairs and then if so if they yell in the corner of the playroom it's like perfect to where the kitchen is. then all I hear like five minutes later, oh ma, oh ma, coming through the floor and I was like oh my god, you guys.

Ashley Dreager:

You don't get a lot of time.

Safa Harris:

No!

Ashley Dreager:

What did he get into? Oh, you're just like, let me be. I,

Safa Harris:

You have nothing going on, and your kids are with their dad! Exactly! Exactly!

Ashley Dreager:

fine. They have all their needs met. Uh, no, yeah, we're going through a, um, Uh, toddler teenager phase

Safa Harris:

Oh,

Ashley Dreager:

where it's like everything. So it's a meltdown and a fight and it's dramatic. Oh my gosh. I didn't even say no. Like, it's not even like I said, no, you don't get something. It's just that she doesn't like the way we're doing whatever.

Safa Harris:

it's

Ashley Dreager:

But, uh,

Safa Harris:

in general is really hard. Just period. And like all of that stuff, just like the day to day life is exhausting. And you can already, I feel like we're always just out of breath. We're just like all the time. And I feel like you can hear it in this episode, but then on top of that, like adding everything else that goes along with it. Running a business and balancing the schedules and all of that on top of it. It's just like obliterating.

Ashley Dreager:

Oh, it's so bad. Like the number of times that I've had a conversation with Justin for, for those that don't know, Justin's my husband. If you haven't picked up on that yet, like the number of times that I've had a conversation with him being like, I am so tired of being needed. and managing things that I can't manage this too. I need you to be managing this because I'm already tapped out with all of this other stuff that I can't just check out of. And like, I know, obviously I can't just check out of my kids and check out of my home life, but I'm like tapping out. I'm like, dude, you, you need to come in and take over this because even just thinking about what to make for dinner or what to clean first is, I can't do it. Like it's

Safa Harris:

You know, my like home life situation, just cause one, I don't talk about this on the internet a lot, just for like safety reasons, but like Darrell has gone a lot. In a good month, he's home for one week out of That's a good month. But he's doing great things for America, guys. We're keeping the supply chain alive. All he does a lot of Walmart loads. So if you're shopping from Walmart, my husband. But, uh, so he's a truck driver. It's very normal. He has He's an owner operator and just the way the economy has been, he has had to take on a lot of that and hands on more just because the margins aren't there for us to maintain, just because it's been really bad for the trucking industry that since, um, about mid of 2022 going into now, we had a little bit of like a normalizing rebound, but it still is not like great, but like, truckers are now at least surviving. Um, but he's gone a lot, so a lot of everything is solely on me. I do have like a babysitter nanny that comes in to help, but that's purely so I can do everything else. And just the mental load. of figuring all of that out. And even when he's at home, it takes him a minute to be like, okay, let me get oriented. what is happening in this house so I can help and support and plug in. So then at that point, he's just like, okay, so what's going on? Where we at? this is where we were when I left. Now I'm back. So let's like, in. And so it's like, going through an orientation period. And then, having that support to do it is great, but then something will come up, be like, oh, be like, hey, can you like take care of that? And he's like, okay, yeah, but like, what am I doing with this? Just cause he's like,

Ashley Dreager:

Because he's not there. Otherwise, like he's not part of the day to day. Like

Safa Harris:

And so we bought this bounce house, right? I bought this bounce house thing. I was like, Oh, this would be great for like outdoor play. Like I'll get a lot of time, which has been great, but the setup and breakdown of it, like I can't, um, nope. I did it once and then I broke it down and then I

Ashley Dreager:

Just

Safa Harris:

up again. And I'm like, Oh, I'm not going to. Take this down, but then the outside is to have like birds and bugs and And it's like I have to break it down But I'm like I'm just too exhausted to continue to set it up and break it down Which like a catch 22 because I also want them to just like go play outside and it's just But

Ashley Dreager:

go be

Safa Harris:

was here, I was like, before you leave, you need to clean off this bounce house and like, pack it up and put it away. And he's like, okay, cool. But like, where am I putting this away? Like, what am I doing? I was like, I understand you're asking me these questions and they're valid questions, but I'm at a point that I literally do not care. And if I can't find it, I don't care. It's like, just. I just need you to figure it out and put it somewhere and fold it in something.

Ashley Dreager:

The mental load of like handing off the mental load

Safa Harris:

Yeah.

Ashley Dreager:

like, be hands off with it. Like, it's not Look

Safa Harris:

lists, um, where it would, it was just like a daily life list and it literally had like empty dishwasher, like full laundry, like, fill up water bottles, all of that kind of stuff. And so it was a long list. So in the morning, I would go through and be like, okay, I did this, did this, did this, and write like DRS on like who's responsible for each of those things. So we both didn't really have to think about any of it because we'd be like, okay, yeah, let me just look at the list and it gets done. And then it was also really nice when he would just take things that were like assigned to me and then do them. I was like, Oh,

Ashley Dreager:

at that, taking off my list. Checking off my to dos.

Safa Harris:

Um, but like, even that is a heavy lift to create the list. Like the one time to create the list,

Ashley Dreager:

Mm hmm.

Safa Harris:

if you're just reusing it daily, because that's like a whole work session. In it,

Ashley Dreager:

Yeah.

Safa Harris:

Because you have to sit down, think through all it's like a project management list for your house, but I'm like I'm already doing that for work stuff and I have limited work time.

Ashley Dreager:

Mm hmm.

Safa Harris:

And like that work time is like income generating. I was like,

Ashley Dreager:

Yeah.

Safa Harris:

list is not income generating. So I have to prioritize the income generating work to do it. And I've gotten to a point and I am having a hard time, even figuring out what I need to order for groceries, making sure I'm ordering enough. And I've been thinking about this for the past couple of days. I'm like, I need to like, sit down, figure out what we're actually Eating how much we're eating of it. Like what I need to be ordering, not just for like budget purposes, but. I think, my kids are little, they don't eat a lot, like all those videos online that are like, Oh I, feed my kids this much, I'm like, my kids eat like a third of that. So it's not like we're eating a whole more volume of food, but I feel like we're getting less food, like there's less stuff in the packages.

Ashley Dreager:

I was just telling Justin about that the other day. I think it's called shrinkage, isn't it? Where they're

Safa Harris:

It's like shrinkflation. And I was like,

Ashley Dreager:

Shrinkflation! Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Safa Harris:

it. But I'm like running out of food, but I'll order on like, like a Friday or Saturday, and I'll like, I'll do weekly. But now but like Wednesday, I'm like, we have no food. And I know we didn't eat like a whole lot more. So

Ashley Dreager:

Yeah.

Safa Harris:

to sit and project plan our groceries because I need to figure out why we're running out of food.

Ashley Dreager:

But I don't The whole idea of meal planning has never worked for me. Part of me feels like we just wing it every week of like, yeah, like we'll at least be able to snack for a whole week and like, we've got enough vegetables and fruits and meat. Like we can charcuterie board it together, snack plate it, but I, yeah, I, I feel like I could go on a whole rant about groceries right now. We just did a Costco trip and leaving. Looking at how full the cart was, which, spoiler alert, was not very full, and the amount that we spent, like, we didn't even get any treats. Like,

Safa Harris:

There's

Ashley Dreager:

we didn't even get any fun Costco things. Like,

Safa Harris:

fun of Costco. It's like getting food that you're never actually gonna just like get, but then you're like, oh my gosh Costco, you're so cool. Mm hmm.

Ashley Dreager:

Yeah. Like, you know, when you're like, Oh, well I got, I got a three or four extra things because they're always like 10 a pop. Right. And you're like, Oh, well of course I spent that much. Like I got, got all these fun goodies. No, I didn't get any fun goodies.

Safa Harris:

nothing.

Ashley Dreager:

that

Safa Harris:

No, I'm,

Ashley Dreager:

was, had the death star. It's not even like I got the expenses.

Safa Harris:

But, like, though, it's, every, like, and it's not that there's less food in the packages. It's, like, it's more expensive in general, and then you're getting less. So now I'm, like, I'm already spending more. And if I'm going to have to double this, that, just so we can, like, make it through, Because what I've been doing for a while, because meal planning doesn't work for me, because one, the recipes get too complicated. I feel like I have to buy all of these extra things and then I get overwhelmed and all that. But I will say it is nice to be like, okay, yeah, well, I know what I'm cooking, but then I'm half the time I'm too tired to cook it anyways. And

Ashley Dreager:

Yep.

Safa Harris:

but then now I'm in the scenario of like, okay, so what am I feeding you tonight? Like, what out of all of the stuff that we have left can I make, like, a solid meal with, like, protein, carb, fat? Yeah.

Ashley Dreager:

My favorite is when there's, uh, we have a bunch of leftovers from their like half eaten meals in the fridge and I'm like, you're just gonna finish all of this and I'm gonna call that good.

Safa Harris:

Well,

Ashley Dreager:

Yeah, because I mean, with budgets and grocery costs and everything, it's, you know, like food waste feels different now than it did four years ago. Like, I've never liked the idea of food waste. Like, don't get me wrong. I've always tried not to, but now just like with two toddlers, they're going to be three and five soon.

Safa Harris:

Yeah.

Ashley Dreager:

half eaten things. Because it's so hard to gauge, like, how hungry are you gonna, like, are you gonna eat two chicken nuggets or are you gonna eat five chicken nuggets today? And then you double that.

Safa Harris:

two, when you give them two, they want five. But when you give them five, they want a half

Ashley Dreager:

Yeah.

Safa Harris:

nugget.

Ashley Dreager:

They want three servings of yogurt. I'm like, Which, great. Glad that you're eating the Greek yogurt, but like, what am I going to do with these six chicken nuggets that I don't want to eat right now? And I don't want to re microwave them tomorrow,

Safa Harris:

Ugh. It's hard! And like, that's just like, added mental load. And then it's balancing the whole mental load. And then, Trying to find ways to reduce that is, and I know we talk about this in business a lot, is like being proactive versus being reactive, doing the work up front, so you have that good foundation, all of that, and it totally applies to life, but, like, we're doing that in business. And it's happening and it's going and We can, check into ClickUp and know where things are happening as long as we're actually maintaining that. But, that needs to happen in life. But doing that foundational work in life is hard because you're already tired and then making time to do that on top of surviving and then on top of, like, just doing that for work. It's hard. Two, it's, it's a lot and I, we don't have any solutions in this episode, apparently.

Ashley Dreager:

no, there's no, yeah, yeah, no, I mean, if there is a solution, I don't, I don't really have it. I mean, I wanted to talk about how important mindset was and that kind of prep, because I do think, like we talked about at the beginning of the episode, that making sure that you have that time for yourself can, it makes a world of difference. But then there's the added part of that of like, okay, but now I need to manage my sleep. And what if I don't get as much sleep and now I'm extra tired. And then the kids change their schedule and the sleep schedules. And just it can domino really fast, but

Safa Harris:

Yeah. So I was going to say, if anybody does have solutions, we have a link in our show notes where you can leave us voice notes. So like, if you got anything, we'll take it.

Ashley Dreager:

Please leave a voice note,

Safa Harris:

I want

Ashley Dreager:

just share your story,

Safa Harris:

Yeah.

Ashley Dreager:

tell us how it's going. Uh, tell us if we're alone in this. I don't think we are, but

Safa Harris:

don't think we are because well, you know, I'm an. in book club and we're all talking about the same thing. Everybody's in the same place. We're not alone. least those like 11 other people are also there.

Ashley Dreager:

there you go. Yeah.

Safa Harris:

Yeah, time for yourself. It's really hard because so my kids wake up really early. So Welly does the morning prayer, so he gets up for that, but then Zed's like, I'm up to it. He used to sleep till 7. 20, but now he's up at 6. 30, who knows whatever reason. He'll go down to sleep at the right time and then like nap now as a hit or miss, like whatever. I don't know what's going on, but like, dude, and he's like happy too. It's not like he's waking up crying or anything like that. He's just like doopity dee dee in his room and I can hear him. And he'll be like singing and talking. I'm like, bruh, it's 630.

Ashley Dreager:

You're gonna have to, like, get him to incrementally increase for fallback. Daylight savings.

Safa Harris:

Honestly, it did it got messed up at Daylight Savings, but he went the wrong way. But, I don't know. Like, hopefully one day he'll like Because even if I put him to bed Later, he still wakes up at 630. But then he's just getting less sleep. So then he's cranky. So just gonna have to figure it out on his own. I don't know He'll figure it out, but That's the thing like I cannot wake up. Like I like to have At least, like, two hours before the kids wake up is, like, great because that gives me time to, like, slowly get dressed and, like, slowly just sit there and, like, make my coffee and, like, do whatever and, like, read or whatever I'm trying to do or, like, do extra prayer or read the Quran, whatever it is, and just, like, have that time and then the kids are down. I'm like, I'm ready for you to make noise now.

Ashley Dreager:

The noise. Really? It's just, like,

Safa Harris:

A

Ashley Dreager:

too much. Like, whenever I wake up with the kids, it's So like, I'm not doing a morning work session and we're all doing breakfast together. I'm just like, I need you guys to just stop talking. Like, because it's not even the, it's not even like the fussing or crying or anything. It's just, just chatter. Yeah, just I'm like, I don't think that we need to talk this much and have the Tony box going and then have you choose a Tony box. And so now I've got three things and I'm trying to, yeah, Justin's, we're trying to talk to Justin. It's just like silence. Mm

Safa Harris:

first thing,

Ashley Dreager:

hmm.

Safa Harris:

like, I'm not I can't wake up at 4 30 because I'm not also, like, I could go to bed at not 10 p. m., but, like, I want to stay up till 10 p. m. I feel like that's not crazy.

Ashley Dreager:

Well, and usually we have a good conversation going at your 10pm time.

Safa Harris:

we

Ashley Dreager:

And I'm looking at the, looking at the clock, I'm like, she's going to just stop responding to me any minute now.

Safa Harris:

But then it's nice, I wake up to nice little nuggets from you. Yes,

Ashley Dreager:

whoa, her world went downhill last night.

Safa Harris:

my favorite, when you give me a disclaimer, where you're like, Hey, just FYI, before you listen to this, it's heavy.

Ashley Dreager:

Yeah, it's like she's gonna listen to this at 6 a. m. and it's gonna be a five minute rant about this thing I saw on TikTok. And I already know that's gonna be too much, too early, so just leave it. Yeah,

Safa Harris:

and I'll be like, okay I'll look at this like after breakfast or after I've dropped Wally off at school or something

Ashley Dreager:

what I didn't like comprehend.

Safa Harris:

a. m. To respond to you

Ashley Dreager:

Yeah, easy.

Safa Harris:

Yeah So it gives me some time, but yeah, like I need like when I don't get that. And I'll just like wake up when they wake up. I'm one trying to juggles that in the bathroom while I'm trying to get dressed and like, well, these self sufficient. So like he does his thing, but then we go downstairs. I'm trying to fix everyone breakfast do all of that. And then like, I say this in a way to like, in the most humble way. So like, well, these guys. right? So, like, for real, like, we've had him tested everything, but that come, like, that comes with, like, a whole thing in it of itself, which requires a lot of attention. and nurturing in a specific way. this, this, this man literally is ready for philosophical conversations and like things first thing in the morning. He'd be like, oh my, does like the entire earth not boil? I'm like, I don't know. And you're asking me this at 702 in the morning. Like the other day he was like, how does. do car engines work? I'm like, I, I don't have, like, a combustion dude to go go, like, I literally got him a Chromebook so he could go Google things. I'm

Ashley Dreager:

I mean, this like, it's a good question, but like, I, I don't know. The

Safa Harris:

too, I'm not ready. talk yet. And three, you just sent me like five questions at once. And like, sure, I can explain to you how a combustion engine works. But like, can we do this after we've all had like a good night of sleep, everybody's chill, and we're having just like a good moment of just like sitting around and talking. And two, your brother's not screaming just because he can.

Ashley Dreager:

noises just because, oh, I totally feel that. I totally feel that.

Safa Harris:

when Darrell was here. He was like, with Zeth and doing stuff and he was like, Zeth, like, can you just be quiet for a minute? You're talking and singing and everything. Why? was like, now you get it. Mm hmm.

Ashley Dreager:

Yeah, Ellie starts, she thinks that it's funny to like scream sing right now because then I like quickly look over and look at her like, what are you doing? And then she thinks that's funny. Then, so then she keeps doing it. And then it's like this like battle of, okay, you're, you're really cute, but also like that's really loud. So I only want this to happen like twice, but I can't get you to stop now because now you're laughing. And it's just like,

Safa Harris:

it's a lot.

Ashley Dreager:

It is a lot. So

Safa Harris:

So pretty much this entire episode was just us talking about how hard things are. And hopefully we didn't bring you guys down. You guys enjoyed it and feel camaraderie and can leave us some voice notes.

Ashley Dreager:

yeah,

Safa Harris:

relatable. We're cool.

Ashley Dreager:

please leave voice notes. Uh, very curious how your, um, how your experiences right now working from home with kids or just having a business with kids, if they're not at home with you. Ours are at home.

Safa Harris:

how are you're making your groceries last longer

Ashley Dreager:

yeah.

Safa Harris:

I need help.

Ashley Dreager:

New grocery budgeting tips. Not the low hanging fruit, or it's like, buy what's in season, buy what's on sale, buy offer. Like, we've, we've done that. What's the next level of budgeting tip that you have come across that's been life changing?

Safa Harris:

I think we're both really good about buying like per ounce caught lower cost and comparing all of that too and like Shop your pantries, but the pantries low now, too So like what's like a major hack

Ashley Dreager:

Yeah.

Safa Harris:

we don't know yet?

Ashley Dreager:

Tell us

And that wraps up another episode of the business millennials podcast. We hope you found this conversation, thought provoking, inspirational, and helps you make a larger impact with your business. Growth is not just about profits or revenue. It's a journey of personal development, contribution, and bettering ourselves in society. Our challenge for you take at least one key lesson from our time together today that you can apply, not just to your business. But your relationships, creative expression, wellbeing, and personal evolution to, we appreciate you tuning in. If you enjoyed this show, we invite you to pay it forward, share it with an entrepreneur, creative student, or community leader who needs an infusion of insight or inspiration right now. And make sure to subscribe on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. So you never miss a single episode. And if you like what you heard, leave us a five star review. See you next week.